After years or months of dating, you’ve decided to make it official. You’ve asked her parent’s permission to take their baby girl’s hands in marriage and now you’re on your to getting married to the love of your life! Since you and only you can truly express your love for her, you want to write your weddings vows. Splendid! The only problem is you don’t know the first thing about writing vows. It’s alright, you’re ok, you’re going to be amazing and she’ll love you even more just for trying. So, with that said, let’s go over some very basic ways to accomplish this and get you on the way to writing a beautiful, simple wedding vow for your ceremony, because you know that this very simple gesture will be a memory that’s embedded deeply in her mind and those heartfelt words will last a lifetime.
Here are 4 tips to help you write your own memorable wedding vows:
First and Foremost, Speak from Your Heart
This sounds easy but sometimes it’s not. Find a peaceful place in your mind which will allow you to slow down and relax a bit. It’s ok to close your eyes for a few seconds to collect your thoughts and imagine this amazing person standing in front of you, smiling at you and about to commit their lives to you.
Look into their eyes and take a trip down memory lane of all the wonderful experiences shared with this person. Think of all the secrets you’ve shared, the laughter and the intimate moments shared together. Feel how in love you are with him/her. Then, as you open your eyes to see this amazing loved one in front of you, think about what you would like to tell him/her at this very moment. Think no one else is there. No one else matters, it’s just the two of you and let him/her hear whatever your heart sincerely feels and desires.
I’ve seen a lot of my brides and grooms do this and often they tell me that they found themselves expressing their true and simple feelings. They often make a promise which reflects a special time of their lives. One bride said to her groom “I promise to wear your shirt to sleep every time you travel!” The look on the groom’s face was simply priceless and his smile simply told you that’s an intimate moment between them and he loved that. Their vows was received in a very deep and heartfelt way and what else could you ask for in your wedding vows?
No Matter What, Don’t Try to Impress People
In the course of planning so many weddings, I’ve heard quite a few wedding vows. One mistake I often come across is when people try to write their vow that is mouthful and impressive with the assumption this will make their ceremony more special. My darling brides and grooms, the truth is that it’s completely the opposite. Doing something like this will only accomplish one thing; it will only make your words sound fake and insincere and with that, your vow won’t have any impact on that amazing person standing in front of you and it certainly will not impact your guests.
The best thing to do is to be simple and genuinely speak from your heart. Regardless if you choose to do it in a format of your every day conversations just be genuine and your feelings will be reflected in your words.
Write Your Vows Down
Yes, it’s perfectly ok to write your vows down in the form of a letter and not on your Blackberry or any other phone for that matter. Writing this often makes you feel a little more comfortable and confident in what you’re about to say to your new spouse and yes; the same rules above still applies.
Feel Free to Read a Spiritual or a Romantic Prose
If you’re lost for words and you can’t seem to adequately express your thoughts; reading something beautiful, spiritual and romantic is a great way to get you thinking about what to say.
When reading, let yourself be inspired by the author’s language. If any of the words describes your loved one, write if down and before you know it, you’ll be writing a deep, romantic and beautiful sentence that reflects your feelings and in return you’ll have written the perfect wedding vow.
Well, you know I have to ask you what your plans are for your wedding vows! Are you writing your vows? Did you write your vows? Did you parents write their wedding vows? How are you approaching writing your vows? I know, tons of questions but you know I would love to hear from you.
Happy vow writing,
Violaine Diogene
Okay so, I LOVE wine and I mean I LOVE wine! One of the most important elements in planning a very nice wedding is knowing the kinds of wine you should offer your guests (should you choose to offer your guests wine at all). Now you know when we started this blog, we wanted to talk to you about all sorts of things and this wine 101 I’m thinking is a great post for those who’s looking for information on wine.
I was reading about this from Brides.com and I came accross this wonderful aritcle and I thought I would share with you. Let me know if you found it useful and if there’s any questions I can asnwer for you.
Always thinking of you,
Violaine Diogene
A top wine expert offers her insider tips for choosing your wedding-day drinks
There’s no doubt about it: Choosing wine can be one of the most enjoyable parts of wedding planning. And selecting your big-day libations doesn’t have to be stuffy or pretentious. Anu Karwa, who holds an Advanced Certification from the Wine & Spirit Education Trust, founded trendy wine tasting event organizer Swirl Events to share her passion for approaching wine in a fresh, fun way. Here, she shares her best advice for picking the wine for your wedding.
How should a couple pick wines for their wedding? What should they order?
When picking wine for a wedding, you want to pick one white wine and one red wine. Make sure they’re food friendly and that they’ll please a wide spectrum of palates. Don’t pick extreme or non-food friendly wines, e.g. a sweet white wine, a big Barolo, red Zinfandel, etc. Plus you need a sparkling wine for the toasts. My picks for wedding whites include: a Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand (especially the Marlborough region), a dry Riesling from Washington State or Alsace or an unoaked Chardonnay (known as White Burgundy in France.) For reds, I would pick a Pinot Noir (known as Red Burgundy in France.) Great choices come out of the Willamette Valley in Oregon and the classic region of Burgundy. They’re very food friendly or perfect on their own and easily please a wide taste range.
How many glasses of wine should a couple budget per person?
Assess your crowd. Some crowds are more likely to consume wine, beer and cocktails. The ratio is up to you, but assume people drinking wine consume one glass per hour.
Champagne’s expensive but necessary for a Champagne toast. What can a couple do to save money without losing this special touch?
My favorite wine tip for weddings involves Champagne. Champagne is a major wedding expense (since people usually budget two glasses per guest.) Instead, pick a Prosecco, a sparkling wine from Italy, or a Cava, a sparkling wine from Spain. Both are equally elegant and you can find fantastic bottles for about $12!
How can oenophiles incorporate wine into their wedding?
Pick wines that are special to you and indicate the meaning behind the choice to guests via small tent cards. Place the tent cards in front of the wine or near the bar. This gives guests a little insight into you as a couple.
Not sure which wines to pick? Here are a few questions to get your imagination going:
- Do either the bride or groom come from a wine-friendly area? Pick a wine from their home state or country.
- Have you vacationed in wine country?
- Are you especially environmentally conscious and planning a “green” wedding? Pick all organic or biodynamic wines.
- Have you picked a wine to be your new “home” wine?
- Do you have a special restaurant: Where you shared your first date, where he proposed, etc…? Pick a wine off their menu.
- Are you going to a honeymoon spot known for its wine: Napa, Australia, France, Italy, Egypt, even India?
Cocktail hours all seem the same. How can a couple make it more fun?
Have a wine tasting! If Swirl doesn’t cover your area (NY, NJ, CT), do it yourself. Set up stations, each with one wine and a sommelier or bartender pouring and discussing the wine. Pair an appetizer or cheese with each wine being tasted and keep it at the station. Get score cards printed with the names of the wines and the station number. Hand these to guests so they can vote for their favorite or write notes. This keeps guests occupied and encourages mingling between guests who might not know each other.
— Kathryn Papanek
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More often than not, a bride will say to me, “my hotel has a wedding planner” or “My Catering Sales Manager said I don’t need a separate wedding planner!” Since I’ve played both roles (I was a Catering Sales Manager for a Hilton property) I thought I should take a moment and perhaps attempt to clarify the difference between the two roles.
Yes, you’ve found a beautiful hotel, a mansion, a country club, or a private home where you will host one of the most important (if not the most important) event of your life. This venue is staffed with a Catering Sales Manager and you’re assuming this person will serve as your wedding planner. Allow me to explain. A Catering Sales Manager is employed by the venue and primarily specializes in booking events/weddings for the venue. A Catering Sales Manager can have 1-5 weddings at the same time depending the size of the venue and wedding season. A Catering Sales Manager is usually on location for your wedding day and will often depart once the first course is served. I also like to stress to my brides that the Catering Sales Manager is employed by the hotel and can also be terminated without notice to you by the hotel.
A Wedding Planner, is a personal consultant who is employed by you and depend on what you contract him or her for, they are with you in all aspects of the planning of your wedding. Your planner will be at hand to assist without hesitation in the negotiation process, will mediate when needed, will design, be a confident and really help eliminate most of the stress that comes with planning a wedding. Your planner will attend meetings with you and on your behalf. Your planner will be the go to person at your wedding and point of contact for all your vendors.
When you know the specific services of the two different roles, it will help ensure there are no surprises on your wedding day.
Your Catering Sales Manager will provide the following services
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Cater to you upon the initial contact to the venue. They will provide a personal tour of the venue.
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Send a proposal to you or catering package with the venue’s food and beverage minimum or if you’re renting a venue (Mansions, Museum, Private Homes, etc) they tell you what the rental fee is.
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Sign the contract for the property and give you their list of recommended vendors.
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Assist you in the menu selection (If they’re providing the catering)
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Conduct a personal tasting with you to finalize your menu
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Provide you with a BEO (Banquet Event Order) which is standard in hotels and is basically a contract outlining your event. From the food you selected, your beverage selection, what time you would like the event to start and all specifics of your event (the part that’s happening in the venue. If your ceremony is not taking place at the venue, this will not be listed on the BEO) to ensure flawless communication to the operational team.
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Design a floor plan of your function space which will allow you to provide seating arrangements
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Create an estimate of charges outlining your financial commitments to the venue/caterer
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Will oversee the ceremony and/or reception room/rooms set up and other venue/catering operations
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Ensures the hotel delivers what was contracted
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Ensures the banquet captain is equip for a seamless transition to handle the event when he/she leaves
Your Wedding Planner (depends on what kind of services you contracted) will do the following.
- Provides full-service coordination from your engagement party to your honeymoon activities
- Will go venue shopping with you
- Negotiate your contracts on your behalf
- Provide a range of professional referrals to accommodate your taste, style and budget
- Assist in the designing of your event
- Provides assistant with etiquette and protocol your invitations, registry, colors, ceremony toast, bridesmaids luncheon, rehearsal dinner and all wedding related matters.
- Available to you to discuss your event or sometimes have dinner to take a break from the planning
- Attends vendor meetings with you
- Meets with all your vendors to ensure all things contracted are being handled accordingly
- Negotiate and establish room blocks with different hotels to accommodate your guests
- Coordinate activities for your out of town guests
- Manages your hotel room block
- Designs a comprehensive vendor payment schedule according to their contract
- Works directly with hotel/venue to ensure diagram, BEOs and menus are correct
- Act as a liaison between your family, (yes, your family and they also play shrink and referee when needed) bridal party, photographer, videographer, band/DJ, florist, caterer and the many more vendors that it takes to produce a spectacular event.
- Provides assistance in planning all events pertaining to your wedding
- Designs complete timeline for all events happening on your wedding weekend and ensure all essential parties have the timeline
- Coordinate and direct your ceremony rehearsal
- Assist the wedding party, mother of the bride, certainly the bride with getting ready if needed.
- At hand the day of the wedding from to ensure the wedding party have their bouquets, corsages and others. Also assist the groom where needed (usually an assistant is at hand to do that if contracted) with the pinning of the boutonnieres.
- At hand to ensure arrangement of all ceremony/reception programs, escort cards, favors, place cards, personal items (your mom’s toasting flutes, cake knives, guest book, your grandparents photos and any other personal items.)
- Direct the ceremony line up with the bridal party, parents and most important of all; bride!
- Works directly with the venue and catering staff to ensure the proper setup of the reception room
- Coordinate the reception lineup with the grand entrance of the parents of the bride a groom, the bridal party, bride and groom’s grand entrance, first dances, toasts, gown changes, cake cutting, garter toss and grand exit
- Ensures gifts are collected and delivered to the appropriate parties.
- Stays well after bride and grooms depart to ensure all personal items are collected and rented items are properly stored and or picked up.
Sorry for the long post but I hope you found it useful. You also know you can reach me with any questions you may have.
Happy planning,
Violaine Diogene
Ok, so, today I had an “aha moment” when I came across Goosie Girl, which is a blog with daily thoughts about the lovely things of life! And boy, do they have really lovely things in life!
When I stumbled on this blog full of simply adorable things, I promise you I was all smiles. This blog is simply full of adore ideas for everyday lovey things and tons of wedding inspiration. Don’t worry, I can already see this will be my new obsession.
My first “I LOVE” item are these amazingly adorable “Pies in a Jar”! I know right, who would have thought? Talk about an unusual wedding favor, party favor, engagement or make them to impress your guests at your next dinner party!
Visit Goosie Girl for instruction of putting these together.
Below are some wonderful pictures from their website. I know, not fair as I feel the need to eat some apple pie right now. What do you think about this idea?
Wanting some pies in a jar,
Violaine Diogene
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About a week ago, we started the conversation on How Well Do You Know Your Flowers and this today, we’re just continuing that conversation.
On Brides.com there’s this amazing Flower Finder and it’s a great place to get all the flower facts your little heart can handle. I’m thinking in the next few weeks, I’ll feature 10 flowers per week for us to get to know.
You know the deal, let me know your thoughts on this post and if you find it useful.
Happy flower learning,
Violaine Diogene
Gerbera Daisies
One of the world’s most popular cut flowers, and available in virtually every color imaginable, it looks fresh and casual when gathered in a simple vase.
Style
- bohemian, beach casual, modern, classic
Color
- pink, orange, red, white, yellow
Season
- summer, spring
Size of Bloom
- medium, large
Cost
- $ = inexpensive
Chamomile
You’ll find fields of this diminutive wildflower in late summer; include it in wreaths, centerpieces, and bouquets for a shot of charm. (It wilts easily-avoid using it in boutonnieres.)
Style
- bohemian, beach casual
season
- summer
Size of Bloom
- small
color
- white, yellow
Cost
- $ = inexpensive
Parrot Tulips
The basic tulip goes for baroque; this parrot variety, available most of the year, entices with its ruffled edges and stripes. A big bouquet is stunning, and the price is right.
Style
- bohemian, glamorous, romantic
color
- apricot, pink, purple, orange, red, white, yellow
season
- fall through early summer
Size of Bloom
- large
Cost
- $$$ = expensive
Foxgloves
These long stems (known as digitalis in the medical world) that feature a dozen or more bell-like blooms are excellent for creating arrangements with both elegance and height.
Style
- bohemian, glamorous, beach casual, classic
season
- spring
color
- purple, white, yellow
Size of Bloom
- large
Cost
- $$ = medium price
Craspedias
Also known as “billy buttons,” these tidy buds are available year-round. Dot bouquets and small arrangements with them for hits of color (watch out for pollen).
Style
- bohemian, beach casual, modern
season
- summer
Size of Bloom
- small
color
- orange, white, yellow
Cost
- $$ = medium price
Bouvardias
These diminutive, tube-shaped flowers cluster on stalks like miniature bouquets, and are available year-round. Kept saturated in water, they add feminine flourish to arrangements.
Style
- bohemian, modern, romantic
color
- pink, red, white, yellow
season
- year round
Size of Bloom
- large
Cost
- $$ = medium price
Nerines
This mini lily (the flowers are only two inches long) is available almost year-round, so you can add its delicacy to bouquets in any season. Consider massing stems together for a round nosegay.
season
- year round
Style
- beach casual, romantic, classic
Size of Bloom
- small
color
- pink, orange, red, white
Cost
- $$ = medium price
Andromedas
Bitty bell-like blossoms appear on evergreen shrubs in late spring and early summer; use generous clusters of them to decorate linen napkins and the table runners, and as texture in your bouquet.
Style
- bohemian, modern, romantic
season
- spring
Size of Bloom
- small
color
- white
Astrantias
As eye-catching as any hothouse hybrid, this summer field flower makes magic in mixed arrangements or when going solo, simply placed in a row of bud vases.
season
- summer
Style
- beach casual, modern
Size of Bloom
- small
color
- pink, purple, green, gold, red, white, yellow
Cost
- $ = inexpensive
Gloriosa Lillies
This wavy-petaled flower, typically sold as individual blooms, lends a Far East air to arrangements. With a stiff stem and the ability to hold its form out of water, it’s ideal for bouquets.
season
- year round
Style
- glamorous, modern
Size of Bloom
- large
color
- orange, red, yellow
Cost
- $$$ = expensive
Ok, this is almost kind of embarrassing to admit only because I’m a wedding planner and all, but I’m not exactly, no scratch that, I’m not a flower expert at the very least! There, I said it and yes, I’m breathing in sight. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE flowers and I absolutely love picking out a few flowers to make an arrangement but I couldn’t tell you about their names, meaning and all that, and that’s fine because I leave figuring out what’s in season and what’s what to my favorite floral vendors.
Because I don’t know much about flowers, I’m thinking it’s a great idea to for us to educate ourselves about these wonderful, simple pleasures of life. On Brides.com there’s this amazing Flower Finder and it’s a great place to get all the flower facts your little heart can handle. I’m thinking in the next few weeks, I’ll feature 10 flowers per week for us to get to know.
You know the deal, let me know your thoughts on this post and if you find it useful.
Happy flower learning,
Violaine Diogene
Muscari
These delicate, tightly clustered flowers, also called grape hyacinth, burst from bulbs in spring; small-headed, with supple stems, they’re easily wired into head wreaths for flower girls.
Color
purple, blue
Style
beach casual, classic, romantic
Cost
$$ = medium price
Season
spring
Size of Bloom
small
Hyacinths
This winter-to-late-spring bloom has a strong scent and a fresh-from-the-garden appeal; use the stems in small centerpieces or planters, or pluck a couple of individual flowers for a boutonniere.
Meaning: constancy
Style
beach casual, classic, romantic, modern
Color
red, blue, yellow, pink, orange, white
Size of Bloom
large
Cost
$$ = medium price
Season
winter through spring
Alliums
Like fluffy lollipops perched on tall sticks, these perfect globes of tiny petals create eye-popping displays, but don’t put them directly on your buffet-they smell a bit like onions.
Meaning: unity, humility, patience
Color
purple, blue, white, lavender, violet
Size of Bloom
large
Season
summer
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Hydrangea
Gardens burst into life with these poufs in late summer and fall; in shades from pink to lavender to green, they look modern when massed in bouquets and large arrangements.
Meaning: devotion
Style
beach casual, glamorous, classic, romantic, modern
Season
year round
Size of Bloom
large, medium
Color
blue, pink, green, white
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Sweet Peas
Skinny stems mean you can gather these frilly favorites in a bouquet, and it will still be featherlight. More good news: While it looks delicate, this early spring bloomer is deceptively hardy.
Meaning: delicate pleasures
Color
purple, red, lavender, pink, white
Style
glamorous, classic, romantic
Season
fall through late summer
Size of Bloom
small
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Peonies
This voluptuous, ultrafragrant flower has a fleeting season—late spring to early summer. Bunches of these chubby, old-fashioned favorites are beautiful placed in pretty pitchers.
Meaning: bashful
Style
beach casual, glamorous, classic, romantic
Color
red, burgundy, pink, white
Size of Bloom
large, medium
Season
late spring
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Roses
These are the classic long-stemmed roses that you see in the florist’s shop every Valentine’s Day. A perennial wedding choice, their petals can be plucked to carpet the ceremony aisle.
Meaning: love and passion
Color
red, yellow, pink
Style
glamorous, classic, romantic
Season
year round
Size of Bloom
medium
Cost
$$ = medium price
Lenten Roses
When is a rose not a rose? When it’s this five-petaled flower—more accurately called helleborus—that blooms in the Lenten season; it adds a springy bounce to bouquets.
Color
purple, pink, green, white
Season
early winter through spring
Style
beach casual, glamorous, bohemian, romantic
Size of Bloom
small
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Gardenias
With a scent to swoon for, this stem less flower can be floated in water or wired into a bouquet; though edges turn brown when handled roughly, it’s a stunningly retro-glam hair ornament.
Meaning: joy
Style
glamorous, classic, romantic
Size of Bloom
large, medium
Season
spring, summer
Cost
$$$ = expensive
Color
white, ivory
Eremurus Foxtail Lillies
Each stalk of this long-stemmed spring flower can have hundreds of star like florets; it can last for up to three weeks in a vase, so it’s great for make-ahead arrangements.
Style
beach casual, glamorous, bohemian, modern
Size of Bloom
medium
Cost
$$ = medium price
Season
spring, summer
color
yellow, pink
Today while trying to get my annual bargain at one of my very favorite stores in the world, (Saks Fifth Avenue) I ran into one of my grooms whom was also out shopping. He was in the men’s department in front of a mirror receiving what appeared to be a valuable lesson in tying a tie. And you guessed it, I had this “aha” moment and here I am writing a series on the different ways for a man to tie his tie but most importantly, I’m really about this for the ladies. If you’re a wife, the future wife or woman in a man’s life, you need to know how to tie his tie. This is one of the nicest and even the sexiest thing a woman can do for her man (in my humble opinion of course).
A few years ago, I learned how to tie a tie at A Macy’s in downtown Boston (I really wanted to impress my husband) and to my surprise, it was much more difficult than I ever imagined but once I learned, it was actually much easier than I had ever imagined. Now, I know this might sound odd, but the type of tie, color of the tie, and type of knot you use on a tie all can convey into a certain meaning. Try to keep up; Take the Windsor knot for example. The Windsor knot is a knot that exudes confidence and power due to its wide, triangular shape. Falsely named after the Duke of Windsor, the Windsor knot (also known as the full Windsor or double Windsor) is usually worn for formal occasions. This type of knot looks best worn with a shirt collar that is considerably cut-away.
I’ve included some very detailed instructions as well a video for you to learn this very important skill at your own pace. Next week, we’ll look into tying a different knot. I hope buy now it’s evident that I want to hear from you. I love to hear your thoughts on my post. I hope I’ve inspired you and challenged your minds in the past few months.
Always hoping to inspire you,
Violaine Diogene
Step 1: Lift up the collar of your shirt, put the tie around your neck so the wide end hangs down on the side of your dominant hand.
Step 2: Cross he wide end over the front of the thin end a few inches below your neck.
Step 3: Slip the wide end up through the back of the V-shape made by the two ends, pulling it out toward your non-dominant hand.
Step 4: Wrap the wide end around the knot and slip it up through the back of the V-shape made by the knot.
Step 5: Tuck the wide end into the front loop of the knot.
Step 6: Tug on the wide and thin ends gently from below the knot until the knot is tight.
Step 7: Hod the thin end with your non-dominant hand and slide the knot up to your neck with your hand.
Step 8: Flip your collar down and get going.
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